Do thoughts that you will not have a baby keep you up at night?
If so, know that you are not alone. For most women who struggle with not yet having their baby, are in infertility treatment programs, or have recurrent pregnancy loss, this is very common indeed. I had similar fears when I realized what having my entire right fallopian tube removed meant later on when I got married and started planning a family.
Fear, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary, is an unpleasant emotion or thought that you have when you are frightened or worried by something dangerous, painful, or bad that is happening or might happen. A fear of not having the baby you so very much want. A fear of being too old. A fear of not getting pregnant. A fear of not ovulating. My fear was that of being less than a woman, unworthy. The list goes on and on… It can be easy to get sucked into this abyss of being afraid and then never having the baby of your dreams.
If this is you, I would like to offer a strategy to help you not so much overcome your fears but rather reframe them. Fear that consumes most of your thinking is detrimental, I know! Truth be told, a little fear is helpful. Begin to look at fear as a trusted friend. Here is how.
Fear doesn’t mean you can’t, it simply means that you haven’t – yet. Fear will always be present, like a friend, when you are starting something new or wanting to be successful. When something is new, in order to learn, grow, or be successful, you must step outside of your comfort zone. Being outside of your comfort zone by definition is NOT comfortable! So it’s OK to have a friend there with you, reminding you that you are on the green growing edge of something great!
As with other endeavours, your friends would encourage you. Look at fear the same way. In spite of it, have the courage to move forward. It’s like learning to walk. Fear is there to remind you that you are on the edge of the life as you have previously known up to this point. Take the next step! Instead of letting fear have you, you can have it. As I like to say, you can let fear into the car but you wouldn’t let it do the driving!
Know that your level of success is directly proportional to your ability to be uncomfortable and your ability to befriend your fear. Let’s get comfortable with fear and discomfort because if you haven’t figured it out yet, having your baby it worth it!
Like your many friends who want to see you succeed, I do as well. Get into that car and enjoy the ride. It’s time for your best friend to be shotgun and shove that fear into the back seat. It’s way more fun that way!
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